Stephen Wilmer was born in Washington DC, and grew up in McLean, Virginia. He attended Massanutten Military Academy from 1968-1971. After graduating, he attended High Point University in North Carolina, where he earned a BA in Spanish. Following college, he taught high school at Antilles Military Academy in Trujillo Alto, Puerto Rico. He also worked for a year at the Center for Energy and Environment Research in San Juan.

During college, he took an interest in martial arts. Eventually, he began to follow Master Kong Young il. He followed Master Kong from Puerto Rico to Houston, Texas. He trained constantly with the hope to represent the United States in the 1984 Olympics. After medaling in the district, state, region, he lost fighting for the bronze medal at the National level; which would have sent him to Zurich Switzerland for the Olympics. Upon returning to the Washington DC area, he took a job as an electronic components sales representative. This allowed him flexibility to teach and coach. He started a Christian outreach program at a church in Arlington, VA. Classes ranged in age from 5 years old to 70. The program was free to all comers, and continued for seven years. Over 1,000 students participated. Forty-four countries were represented during that time.

Following the outreach program, he began to coach youth football in McLean, which is part of the Fairfax County Youth Football League. He was a head coach for 20 years, and commissioner for four years. Combining the two programs, he has easily logged more than 30,000 hours as a volunteer. In 2013, he was inducted into the Northern Virginia Football Hall of Fame.